Wired and I'm tired

Wow yesterday was an incredibly packed day. Had rock-climbing in the morning, catechism in the afternoon, and swimming at night. Today, my forearms are extremely sore. I have never thought about the muscles in my forearms before, but now I find myself thinking about them all the time.

Rock-climbing was intense. I don't think it's going to become a hobby cuz cost, and heights. I can't believe I didn't realise I would be scared HAHA like it was kinda fun climbing at first, but then my palms got sweatier the higher I climbed and i was omg what am i doing here, but i couldn't find my way down again LOL apart from letting go, so i just climbed up. I'm really glad that i reached the top cuz i always thought that was only possible for super fit people. And i was so scared of letting go, but i did it more than once so YAY.

Also climbed blindfolded cuz our instructors were like "I want you to trust us." I'm not sure i did, but i had to, and i didn't die so that's great. And also reached the top blindfolded 😁so that's great again. In some ways it was easier to climb cuz i didn't have to think of where to hold on to and where to place my feet, it was just gosh darn it nat, just climb. There was a moment when i couldn't find my way, but the people below shouted advice, and i found it. So much adrenaline, but yay me.

It has come as a surprise to me that I actually enjoy being active. I hate HIIT because it makes me feel like imma die and puke, but circuits, are unfortunately, the way the world rolls. But I love swimming. Like my technique is all over the place and I can only watch in envy at the way young kids swim freestyle so leisurely and without inhaling water. But I like swimming a lot a lot. Because it makes me straighten out and be bigger and stand taller, and it teaches me not to be afraid of the deep end (not that I can swim there yet haha), and to pay attention to my body, and for a glorious hour, all I'm focused on is learning how to move in water. No other thoughts.

But anyway, it's been really fuuun and I'm like so motivated to swim better!! Esp. because I never thought that I would ever learn how to swim, and it's been 24 years overdue.

Also picked up self-defense (krav maga) classes which I've always wanted to do! It's been challenging, but also liberating because it's barely crossed my mind to kick and punch every since I started secondary school. I admit to kicking out and hitting my siblings as a wee lass cuz s i b l i n g s amirite, but shooting kinda tamed that part of me and taught me to focus on keeping my body as still as possible and to quiet the mind (which I'm grateful for, cuz quieting the mind is so important for prayer).

Anyway, now I'm learning that it's alright to be violent when it comes to defending yourself, and using your sharp elbows etc etc and it's fun too! And there's this whole other person in me that I'm finding out about now through these activities. Someone who tries even though she's scared af, who can stand taller and bigger and take up space in this world and matters and matters.