The Clever Girl

They said that when she was a baby, a fairy snuck in through a back window carelessly left unlocked, and gave her beauty and wit. And after the fairy had twinkled off, and her parents returned from working in the fields, they could barely recognise their kid.

And her mom said, "Wowee, she's a rare one," and her dad said, "Aye, she looks nothing like me."

-----

But anyway, so she grew up and was a clever girl. Her name was Hannah.

-----

So Hannah's dad got into a fight with their neighbour. His cows had wandered into their neighbour's fields and just as her dad was chasing the last one out, their neighbour said, "Hey Dan, that cow's mine." He had squiggly, menacing eyebrows and a really red face. And he said it again, "Hey Dan, I know all my cows, and that cow's mine."

"No, it's not," said Hannah's dad, "it's following the rest of my herd!" Then they got into a fierce fight because they each just knew that they were right. Anyway, it got so bad that they brought the case up, up all the way up to the palace. The magistrate at the palace was new to the job, and he was pretty good at it. (And kind of a hunk, but this is secondary). Anyway, this time, he couldn't tell whose cow it was, even though he listened really carefully, because neither of them had marked their cows. And also, he was getting tired of the neighbour's menacing squiggly eyebrows. They were so sarcastic.

So he said, "Alright, tell you what. I'll give you 3 riddles, and whoever answers them best gets the cow. Agreed?"

"Who's gonna be the judge?" said Hannah's dad.

"Me," said the magistrate. "That's my job."

"Alright," said the neighbour.

"Ok," said Hannah's dad and they all agreed to come back the next day with the answer to the riddles.

"But wait," said the magistrate. "You haven't heard the riddles."

-----

So the neighbour went home scratching his head, and asked his wife to help him solve the riddles. She was a contented kind of person.

"Ok, love," she said. "Riddle me."

"What's the swiftest thing in the world?"

"Easy," she laughed, "our new grey mare. I mean, nothing else comes close to outpacing it."

"Oh yeah. How about the sweetest thing?"

"Honey," she said.

"Yes?"

"No," said the neighbour's wife. "Not you. I mean that new jar of honey we just bought. That's got to be the sweetest thing."

"Oh yeah it's pretty sweet. Ok last one, how about the richest thing in the world?"

"I'm amazed you have to ask," she beamed, "it's the chest of gold coins we've been saving all these years!"

-------------

Meanwhile, Hannah's dad went back home to Hannah who was cheerfully branding the cows.

"Ack child, what are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't get into the same trouble again. There," she said with grim satisfaction on her beautiful face, "now you know which cows belong to you."

"You're a right smart one, aren't you," said Hannah's dad admiringly.

"Thank you for the books," said Hannah reassuringly, and patted her father's hand.

"I need your help," said Hannah's dad. And he told her all about what the magistrate had said and the riddles he had to solve and how his poor head was fit to crack into two just thinking.

"Don't worry, Pa," said Hannah, grinning. "I know the answers and I'll tell 'em to you."

-----------

They met the next day, the three of them, back at the palace. Hannah's dad and the neighbour bowed first to the magistrate, and then to each other, as opponents do.

"Alright gentlemen," said the magistrate, "who's going first?"

"Me," said the neighbour, with a swagger in his step. "Your honour, let me tell you that the answers to your riddles are: my grey mare, my honey, and my chest of gold."

"Your honour," said Hannah's dad humbly, "I may not know much, but I sure know that those answers aren't the right ones."

"Hey, hey," said the neighbour, red-faced, "If you're so clever then let's hear your answers."

"Well, ok," said Hannah's dad and stepped forward at the magistrate's nod. "The swiftest thing in the world, well that's thought isn't it? Only thought can run the distance in the twinkling of an eye. And the sweetest thing? That's sleep, cuz when you're tired, nothing's sweeter. And the richest?"

Hannah's dad paused and lifted his eyes to the heavens. "Well, the richest thing on earth is earth, for it is earth that provides us with all our riches."

In the palace gardens, clouds parted and a ray of sunlight came shining down on the lilies of the field.

"Wow," said the magistrate, "I'm so impressed."

"It was my daughter, Hannah" said Hannah's dad shyly, "she came up with these answers."

The magistrate stood and thought for a while. "You should be proud," he said kindly, "these answers demonstrate thought and good wit. The cow's yours, of course, but do you suppose your daughter would be up for another test?"

"Sure," said Hannah's dad. And the magistrate ran off to another room and came back with a basket of eggs.

"Take this basket of eggs to Hannah," said the magistrate. "Tell her to have them hatched by tomorrow. All ten!"

"Oh you're in for it, Dan," said his neighbour.

"Shut up," said Hannah's dad glumly, and they quickly walked back home together.

------------------

"What is it?" Asked Hannah, as she looked up from fixing the loom.

"The magistrate," said Hannah's dad morosely, "wants you to hatch all ten of these eggs. By tomorrow."

"Arggh!"

"I know," he said, sinking his chin deeper into his chest.

"No, not that, I messed up the card punching sequence."

Then she rolled her eyes and laughed. "Pa, you grab a handful of millet grain and go tell that crazy magistrate of yours, 'My daughter says that if you plant, grow and harvest this by tomorrow, she'll bring you all ten chicks!'"

So he did. And the magistrate chuckled when he heard this. "I'd really like to meet her," he said, "but if she wants to meet me, tell her she must come neither by day nor by night, neither riding nor walking, neither dressed nor undressed."

"Sooo, you don't want to meet her?" Said Hannah's dad who was so confused.

"Have more faith in your daughter," said the magistrate, "We'll meet soon enough."

---------

She came a week later at dawn, when the night was not yet past, and the day had not yet begun, wearing fish netting wrapped thickly around her, and with one leg thrown over her goat's back and one leg on the ground.

She was zany and weird and wonderful. The magistrate spotted her from the window and fell in love at once, laughing so hard he nearly couldn't breathe.

"Here I am!" She called out, "Neither riding nor walking, neither at night nor by day, neither dressed nor undressed."

"Brava," he told her, "I am quite overcome. I think we had better solve riddles together." So they did, and got married a year later after the millet grain had been planted, grown, and harvested, and chicks had been hatched many times over.

------------

But on the eve of their wedding day, the magistrate asked Hannah for a promise. "Hannah," he said, "Please promise that you will not interfere with my cases."

"What's that mean?"

"It means that I love you dearly, but please, never advise someone who comes seeking my judgment, or I will have to send you back home to your father."

Cuz when he next woke up, he was lying in bed with his wife, in a dim, dusty room. Hannah had one arm thrown over him, and now she lazily opened one eye.

"What's this?" he said. "Where am I?"

She smiled at him. "My old room," she said, "we're back in my father's house! You said I could take one thing I treasured best in your house, so I took you."

"Wow," he said, feeling all warm and fuzzy, and a bit awkward, "that's sweet."

"Ehhh"

He couldn't help it, he laughed. "I'm sorry, I've been a perfect fool, please forgive me."

"Of course," she said evenly, "but you're my fool."

"I was jealous," he said.

"I know."

"Please come home with me?"

"I'll think about it."

And so they reconciled and Hannah took the bar exam, and became a lawyer, and then a magistrate too, and worked during the other court sessions when her husband wasn't adjudicating, so there wasn't really any conflict of interest there.

And whenever there was a particularly difficult case to solve, he always said, "We'd better consult Hannah. She's got a brilliant mind."

---------------------

Story adapted and taken from: http://www.weingartdesign.com/TMaS/Stories/tmas1-CleverGirl.html