disappointment

sometimes things aren't just what they seem.
first things first:
I WANT TO WATCH TWILIGHT!
(coming out 121208 :3)
cheryl, sheryl and desiree, watch with me please :D

ok number one: bella moves to forks where she uncovers the secret that edward's a vampiree, ok, nothing's what it seems in her world anymore anyway:D

2:the movie's coming out, with robert pattison as edward
which is downright wrong, he is not hot and gorgeous and cute >.<
wrooong, oh the disappointment, can't get over it i'm sorry. but he does look good in sepia tone, lol :D

3.well um today we had some chinese interview thing, i totally forgot what to say, so i started well, um rolling my eyeballs backwards cause like i was trying to think. i can't do oral don't make me please. so i bet in the end, the video would have me like rollling my eyeballs all the time :( i bet its part of the NGs, what do NGs mean? No Good?

4.silly photographer took so long to take a sillly single picture and more. dragged on til 2.30pm. oh so yun lu and i were afraid that the bus would leave for shooting. i could feel my face contorting/ grimacing. they let us go, i felt like some thing that had been set free.

5. bus didnt even come... yet
we rushed for nothing.

6.i was so upset with us rushing for nothing that i had absolutely NO mood for shooting. it was a horrible feeling.
there are times when one feels a sense of loneliness and despair.
yeah that was it. it was so quiet, it was horrible,
i didnt feel like doing anything,
and like i needed noise to distract myself from the quiet.
the quiet like overpowers you,
it really made me despair and well i felt like crying.
i know its so warped isnt it?
the logic of it all makes me wonder if it is even logic in the first place.

so i half hoped that the people trying out shooting would come and make noise. they did which irked me too. paradox.

i felt like collapsing to the ground and lying down. i wanted to be home to lie on the cool marble floor. truth is i was really tired. one of those sleep walking sheep days where you feel like a zombie and you want to hide and let the world pass by.

no motivation. tired. oh the feeling was horrid, my mouth/ throat was aching cause of it, like i felt like shouting out loud. it was overwhelming.

it was hard to relax when you're despairing, so my shots were sucky. so coach bro asked me if i needed a rest. i did. so i went and sat down and closed my eyes against my bag. people couldnt really tell that i was despairing :) lol. i was tired. after that was better but i had a stray shot. coach bro should stop sucking in his breath when he sees my stray shots. starestare*

in the end i told him that i had no mood whatsoever and i went home. but my shoelaces were out. so i tied them and showed sheryl how. :D i hope you know how to tie em now :D then i got on the bus, and the feeling came back it went away when like i'd finished. my eyes were like hooding up. or closing. i was just so tired...

funny isn't it, how like something you really like becomes a pain?